THE LIFE IN THE WALLET...

What is a wallet???...some dumb dictionary says..” A pocket-size case for holding papers and paper money”... Now, how many types of paper a man can have in his wallet????...well..if you don’t consider the photographic memories of how you looked in the older days...or how your closed ones still look like, as may be u haven’t seen them since.....the answer is may be not too many, if one takes those stuck to the credit and debit cards aside...Firstly the ones concerned with the information...the names, IDs, professional informations.. all with one incentive, that when either of them, the wallet or the one carrying it is beyond recognition, atleast it can be ascribed to something somewhere.....now what do you call, the Rupees, the valuable ones having a number on it and having more of the posh look as the numerical values inscribed on them goes up in a manner of direct proportionality...Some Bank and ATM slips, the thinner ones showing on your face what u r finitely worth at the moment and in a temporal manner whether ur up the ladder or ur down some snake’s gut....Visiting cards, the destinations you once instinctively thought that you might pay a visit once more but never bothered since, or some addresses that you still nurture the hope that you will make it one day....Some Warranties, that u didn’t actually localise when the thing in possession was lost forever...Some portraits of superpower s that  you didn’t have to rely upon unless u got urself in a situation worth paying a last minute prayer...and finally...Some rubble...some shreds of wearing out pieces of paper...some u didn’t have any whatsoever purpose to keep it there...and some....which dares to show you the whole purpose....of you being there, where you are!!!!!....What????? now don’t tell me you are telling about some letter in this age of touch pad communication!!!....but as you are opening its folds with care and as the surety is evident in your eyes... that its really... a letter...may i read it on......

Dearest son,

                               Hope the letter finds you in good shape.. convey our regards for the elders taking care of you and blessings for everyone else..

                                           “Skandham na baadhate raajan, taba baadhati baadhate”....i hope you are well versed with the connotations of the above Sanskrit verse. Once a king out of his curiosity asked his pundit to bear on his shoulders the palanquin carrying the king. On the way, the king asked...”kim skandham baadhati????”. To this the pundit replied as stated above. He was not hurt by the shoulder but was rather pained by the wrong usage made by the king. Similarly you...have pained us. I am not sore about your score in studies but am slain by the vain efforts of yours to hide the fear and a lack of courage. You are not able to discuss your problems with me or your mother, the best ever friends of yours, and sort out some solutions and instead you are bent upon harming yourself...

                              “ My son will not be an engineer, a doctor, or an officer of high profile, but will be a Man, an embodiement of courage, an ace performer in his own way and whatever he is and will be. He will find himself soothed by the showers of eternal fountain of love of his parents..”.  you can take the above statement for an affidavit. And i wish, you swear indomitable chivalry which will leave an indelible impression in the minds of those who matter in your life. Come out of the vicious cycle in a tangent and move ahead. We are always there to help you come triumphant. Let us share your problems, speak up child..  . with a lot of hope, I remain,  With lots of love and blessings...exclusive...unlimited...

                                                                                                    affectionately yours...

                                                                                                                               ...father..

...okay, finished and did i exhale?????....and may be, now i wonder, how to fold it  and keep it back there!!!!!...Without saying..and Without asking the author the blessings for , as for somewhere inside me...it says that...if i could be a semblance, and im not even talking about resemblance...of the man that you are....i think....i will have such a son..who has all the chances of smsing me from his mother’s womb that he is coming or even sending  me a friend request on my facebook account or doing something yet unforeseen, ha ha....but still....i feel, whom i will write to on a such a paper someday....and i will give him.... such a wallet too....

THE PETTY WALK ON WATER.....

Giving a form to the thoughts...thats called writing, isn’t it????...it cant be obsessive nor can it be compulsive.. May be when the vessel gets full, May be when the space cant expand, May be when the collisions it cant withstand anymore...it gets sort of toppled and off ....it goes, in an amateurish try....

                                              Have u ever heard of Walking on water???...yes, Some of you must have, in keeping with the way the humans are taking on technology head on n modifying nature and its ethos. But im not talking about any such technologic fantasy and am rather saying it in a  ‘petty’ kind of way when i say that  “We did it long back!!!”...Surprised????  Anyways, by this ‘We’ i mean, me and a bunch of kids and by this ‘Walking on water’ this bunch meant...when we returned from school...we had to cross a river which gets so shallow in the dry parts of the year, so that we could wade through on foot to the home side.  And among  all sizes in the bunch, my favourite was Anil. Why?...well..it was obvious, only to me though....he was the tallest of the lot, and used to carry few of the metrically lesser developed ones on his shoulders at places where the water was not so shallow and the most eager of the ones to climb up his trunk was me, as i have to admit that i absolutely hated water...forget its depths!!!!...On a fateful afternoon, yes i will use the word ‘fateful’ straightaway without holding it back any further, as thats probably the  only way my memory folders have saved it....few out of the bunch went into the diving mode....but instants later i found out that Anil was missing!!!....then the immediate events that followed are sort of hazy in retrieval and thus are worth a skip, but later what i remember that i went  to his house once. I saw him lie flat on the bed with his hands and feet still as a log of wood and his gaze fixed as if he was keenly following some spider somewhere in the ceiling...but his eyes..dry as paper..

                                                                              Though it didn’t need any pacifying but still i remember my parents explaining me that he had got some kind of paralysis from neck down due to hitting his head on sand and is likely to never walk again!!!!...though i cant say whether i could call shock a shock at that time, but his ever persisting face in my eyes can be taken as an affidavit that probably i didnt take it in any less gloomy a way. But....the reason of not being able to find him anymore among us in our walk, i can say, weird, as it sounded to me that day and strangely..still weird as it seem to sound even after almost  15 years  today and having gathered a pie of the science of the human body in the meanwhile appears just bullshit to me with all respect to the bulls ...that –“ can you believe it????the cells of the nervous system cannot divide!!!! and hence the damaged cells in his spinal cord are dead for good...”....howsoever little knowledge of cells then, n the way they used to divide then....and...howsoever aplenty knowledge of cells now and hence, the ever so increasing wonder for why the hell cant  they divide!!!! And there seems to be a reason for this reckoning  too..As a brief passage of life in the apex institute for R & D of neurosciences in our country...may be I am seeing the glimpses of Anil in each one of the myriads of living logs of wood...following some spiders in their ceilings with their dry eyes, may be i am missing him.....one such old man sitting there..with the earphones of an Ipod plugged in, i asked his folks what he is listening to???..to which they replied...”don’t know sir, he cant do the things he loved anymore and that is why we are giving him something to listen to which he was very fond of..”..I remember I listened to a professor in neurology here who said that all the feasible  so called natural growth factors which facilitate almost any cell to propagate and which are pharmacologically available in the form of a drug, have been tried on such patients but..he is yet to see a single patient with satisfactory results...and i know that by “satisfactory” he didn’t mean “much”..and im getting tempted to say that these neurons are being just too adamant in practising celibacy!!!!...We say that may be those cells have paid the price for being the most developed ones in the body, as if the reproduction is the forte of the downtroddens...but isn’t that proving to be too big a price???...We boast of our science entering the age of robotic and endovascular key hole surgeries, molecular imaging, being  able to smell the metabolites content in a part of the body and moreover transform it into an image, targeted therapies, foetal anomalies correction and what not...but  sadly...it cannot boast of getting a pretty cell to...divide!!!!!...May be I am not coming to terms with it ...as I wonder, that its achieving  such great heights with such grandeur and fervour..finding itself on new pinnacles every other day, surpassing new hurdles, but why do I feel its yet to cross....some age old ‘petty’ obstacles???  May be im not looking at it in an impartial kind of way and am being too tubular and paraplegic in my own vision... as I wonder, that right now... its walking so so tall with its head held firm and high mocking at its challengers.....but why do i feel its yet to...simply walk on water the ‘petty’ way... a bunch of kids once used to do...long back...